Random Thoughts From a Mommy

Dear Bryanna, Yesterday, you told me you were really excited to turn 7, but also a little sad, because you wouldn't be 6 anymore, and that means you're getting older. This is bittersweet for us too, we're so excited to watch you grow, but feel a pang of sadness that you're not little anymore. I missed writing on your 6th birthday because of recovery. So there's a lot to catch up on in 2 years! I don't even know where to start. When you turned 5, your tantrums would last anywhere between 30-90 minutes. Your dad and I were so lost and didn't know what to do. We finally sought help from Lois. To say our lives have never been the same would be an understatement. What started out as fixing a problem, turned into a lot of self reflection, gaining new tools, and a complete lens change to see you and your siblings as who you truly are. 5 and 6 were BIG years. You started Kindergarten, showed moderate anxiety through the school year as you naviga

Dear Alastair, I missed posting last year because of recovery, and this year I was late because life has been hectic with summer vacation. I'm only just over 3 months late. But better late than never right??? So so much has changed since you turned 2. Where do I even begin? You had preschool today and there was a birthday party. You got a goodie bag with 4 little chocolates in it. Your sisters were so jealous! You didn't even hesitate - you pulled out one aero bar for Bree and one coffee crisp for Mackenzie. You happily ate your kit kat, and the shared your smarties. And that's you! You are so generous when it comes to people you love. Sometimes, you even share your bacon with me. These past 2 years, we've seen you grow from saying yes all the time, to knowing your boundaries. You started preschool and was deemed the kid "who can always be found at the snack table". Your best friend ping pong between Aiden at school and Austin. You w

Dear Mackenzie, About a month ago, I was putting you and Bree to bed. You reached out and held my hand. My heart melted. I said, "thank you so much for still wanting to hold my hand." You replied, "but I will always want to hold your hand mama." I told you that one day, maybe soon, or maybe when you're a teenager, you won't want to hold my hand anymore. You gently said, "yes, but when I'm a grown up, I'll hold your hand again." And that's always been you Mackenzie. In moments where I feel sad that you're growing up too soon, you remind me that it'll be all be ok. I missed writing you for your 7th birthday. I had just gotten out of the hospital and just didn't have the energy to write something meaningful. We celebrated your 7th birthday a month late, but you took it in stride. Never complained. You were just so happy to have a party at all.  Between May 2017 until now, so much has happened. We went th

Those who know me know I follow Numerology loosely. When 2018 hit, I fully expected year 7 to hit me like the last year 7 I experienced in 2009. I thought internally I would feel a shift and become a hermit. But January rolled around and I was my usual social self. No huge spiritual enlightenment, no sudden spiritual growth. I was running around, making sure everything was running smoothly with the household. It was as if the Universe was watching from afar and laughing silently. Because April 12 came and bam! So much has happened this year. Here's my Year in Review for 2018! (in no particular order) 10.) Fostering dogs It was as if having 3 kids and a dog wasn't enough work, we (ok, I) decided it'd be a good idea to start fostering dogs this winter! I mean, why not right? But gosh, they were such a blessing. It gave us a glimpse of just how gentle Charlie can be and gave the kids a sense of what giving homeless dogs a temporary home means. We fostered Levi who was th

I feel like I post a lot of great moments with the kids. How cute they can be and showing a lot of their loving sides. And yup, those moments exist, and they are amazing. But let me take a moment to tell you how 80% of our days actually go: Al wakes, screams on top of his lungs: "I AM AWAKE!" Despite us telling him it's not time to get up yet, he repeats at increasingly louder volume until someone goes to get him. When we do finally wake up, we realize that the girls have somehow crawled into bed with us in the middle of the night without us noticing. Curse the king size bed...but bless the king size bed. Now everyone is up. Everyone is hungry. We ask them what they'd like to have for breakfast. Bacon they say. We say no. Because bacon is only for weekends. In truth, because bacon every day starting at the age of 2 will probably clog your arteries sooner than we would like. And also, because bacon gets expensive with 3 kids. The kids hum and ha about what