Random Thoughts From a Mommy

Saw a post today in one of our local groups that Fraser Health is shutting down the Baby Daze program in September across the lower mainland. This program is dear to my heart, and so, I wrote an email to pcqoffice@fraserhealth.ca: "It has come to my attention recently that Fraser Health is undergoing some restructuring and the Baby Daze program that is currently running out of all Public Health offices is being phased out starting September. Although I have not accessed this program since I first went 6 years ago with our first baby, having heard this news was certainly disappointing. You see, 6 years ago, under encouragement from one of the Public Health nurses in North Delta, I took my then 10-day old daughter to Baby Daze. I was tired, had no make up, and was scared of what was ahead of me. We went around and introduced ourselves. The babies there ranged anywhere between 0-6 months. All the moms (and a couple dads!) have the same bewildered look on their faces. I knew

Have you ever had that moment? The moment you notice something unusual about your kid. Your mind starts to race. You’re searching for possible explanations and don’t want to panic. Except it’s too late. You go from 0 to 100. You’re thinking the worst, and you scoop up your kid and head to the hospital. On the drive there, you’re wondering what life could look like if you receive the worst news. You go through a run down of your day, of your week. What did you miss? Was anything out of the ordinary? You recall details, details you feel will be important once you get to the hospital so they will take you seriously. Then you try to talk yourself down. You go to the opposite extreme. What if it’s nothing? What if they look at me like an idiot and write me off? Should I even go in? I don’t want to waste anyone’s time. You go to triage, you tell them what’s wrong. You justify why you’re there, that you’re not normally crazy and panic out of the blue. You have every reason to belie

Dear Alastair, There's something about the last that makes a parent's heart ache a little bit. There will never be another first tooth, another first step, or another first word. You savor it a little bit more, because you know the last really means the last. You cuddle a little bit more, because you just never know when any of of the kids will be too cool to have the last cuddle with you. I'm pretty sure you know this. You use this knowledge as your ammunition. You charm us out of trouble, a smile for one more treat, and you quiver those lips to delay bed time every night. It's amazing what you can do when you're the last. The excuse we tell your sisters when you get away with everything? Well, you're just a baby still! You don't know any better yet! Only you do. You know the power you hold being the youngest. You know that everyone will cater to your every need. No matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to curb it! At your 18-month

Dear Mackenzie, A few weeks ago, you were dressing yourself and taking longer than normal. I asked you to please hurry. You were distracted. I asked you again. You were still distracted by something else. Finally, I said to you, "C'mon Mackenzie, you're six!" You paused. You looked at me for a moment and said, "no, I'm not six." You said it matter of factly. I was taken back for a minute. I paused. Is this true? And of course it was true. I fast forwarded a few weeks early. You were still five. You reminded me that loving all of someone means removing expectations of being perfect. You helped me remember to slow down, to give you more respect than to treat you older than you were. And now, here we are, a few weeks later, and you ARE six. And I am left wondering why I was in such a hurry to begin with. One time, we were laying in bed, and you told me everything about heaven. I asked you how you knew what heaven was and how you knew so much abo

Dear Bryanna, I kissed you good night letting you know this would be our last 3-year old kiss. My heart sank a little. I asked you if maybe tomorrow you could still be 3. You said to me, "Oh no, I really can't". Some things have changed. Like you went from 2T to 3T and now 4T, all within the past year. You went from size 7 shoes to size 9. You went from 25 lbs to 29 lbs. Yes, physically, you have definitely grown. Some things remain the same. You greet everyone at the door with the biggest smile and most enthusiasm I have ever seen. Your laugh is still as infectious as ever. And you hug, as if every hug would be the last. Your stutter came and went throughout the year. It'd be more prominent when you went through a developmental leap, and less once you mastered something. You have learned this year to say "I don't like you...right now" and asking for space. You are fearless most days, and some days you are afraid of the dark and being alone.