I Am The Luckiest
Dear Mackenzie,
A few weeks ago, you were dressing yourself and taking longer than normal. I asked you to please hurry. You were distracted. I asked you again. You were still distracted by something else. Finally, I said to you, "C'mon Mackenzie, you're six!" You paused. You looked at me for a moment and said, "no, I'm not six." You said it matter of factly.
I was taken back for a minute. I paused. Is this true? And of course it was true. I fast forwarded a few weeks early. You were still five. You reminded me that loving all of someone means removing expectations of being perfect. You helped me remember to slow down, to give you more respect than to treat you older than you were.
And now, here we are, a few weeks later, and you ARE six. And I am left wondering why I was in such a hurry to begin with.
One time, we were laying in bed, and you told me everything about heaven. I asked you how you knew what heaven was and how you knew so much about it. You told me it was because you were five, and "when you're five, you know EVERYTHING."
Five was indeed a great year.
In the midst of your end to preschool, saying goodbye to your preschool friends (please see this very dramatic video here), we were frantically cleaning, purging, and packing to sell our old house. There was a point I was really really stressed and I talked to you about how upset I was about selling the house. You told me not to worry. You told me that someone will buy it and will make it their new home. And of course, you'd be right.
We spent one last glorious summer in that house walking to 7-11, Starbucks, and the park. We spent as much time as we could together before I went back to work. Before you went to full time school at kindergarten. It was a lot of lasts, and you went through each of them just as you normally would - flexible and calm.
It came at no surprise that kindergarten was an easy transition. You made new friends. You love your teacher, and you learned French as quickly as I had anticipated you to. You're loved by your class. One mom just came to me last week to tell me you're the mediator of your friends. That when someone is in trouble or in conflict, you are always in there solving the problem. One of your friends from school went home and told their mom that "Mackenzie is so responsible." There's no arguing about that. You really are.
It was as if a light switch went off when you started the big school. Suddenly you spoke with more certainty. You carried yourself with even more confidence than before. It was as if you were...growing up.
And of course, you knew this. You knew that you were getting older. It meant you'd carry more responsibilities. The toys that Bree and Al got to just throw around? You now have to pick them up. If your brother or sister was crying about the one last cookie in the cupboard? It meant you'd give it up for them because you're now the big big sister. They are so very lucky to have you.
Bree came to us shortly after school started that she wanted her ears pierced. Your dad and I always said we'd let you guys do that when you asked. I asked you if you wanted to do it at the same time. You said no. That you were too scared. We took Bree that day to her appointment and you changed your mind. You told us, "I'll be brave today and I will get my ears pierced." And so we did. You were scared but you did it anyway. And that is the definition of bravery - not the absence of fear, but the action in face of fear. You sure showed us that day.
You have continued to dream of being a rock star when you grew up. You have now decided that Bree can be a rock star with you. You certainly have a musical flair and you are quite artistic. You love to write and you're learning to read. Your favorite movie right now is Trolls and you love the TV show Justin Time. Your best friend is still Caiden and you have so many boyfriends now that I've lost count. You still want to marry Alastair.
The other day, I was laying in bed with you chatting. I told you I was worried because someone was mad at me and that they may never forgive me. You said, "it's ok mama, I will forgive you for them."
I hope you will always carry that kind of wisdom with you. To help others gain the perspective that we sometimes lack. To continue to be that problem solver that the world needs. To be the kind person that you are in your heart. Most of all, I hope you will always speak the truth and be yourself. Don't be afraid to remind us all that love really is the answer to everything.
Thank you for unconditionally loving and forgiving always. Here's to being six. Here's to another year of you teaching me more than I can ever imagine.
"I love you more than I have found a way to say to you...And I know that I am, I am, I am the luckiest." - Ben Folds Five
A few weeks ago, you were dressing yourself and taking longer than normal. I asked you to please hurry. You were distracted. I asked you again. You were still distracted by something else. Finally, I said to you, "C'mon Mackenzie, you're six!" You paused. You looked at me for a moment and said, "no, I'm not six." You said it matter of factly.
I was taken back for a minute. I paused. Is this true? And of course it was true. I fast forwarded a few weeks early. You were still five. You reminded me that loving all of someone means removing expectations of being perfect. You helped me remember to slow down, to give you more respect than to treat you older than you were.
And now, here we are, a few weeks later, and you ARE six. And I am left wondering why I was in such a hurry to begin with.
One time, we were laying in bed, and you told me everything about heaven. I asked you how you knew what heaven was and how you knew so much about it. You told me it was because you were five, and "when you're five, you know EVERYTHING."
Five was indeed a great year.
In the midst of your end to preschool, saying goodbye to your preschool friends (please see this very dramatic video here), we were frantically cleaning, purging, and packing to sell our old house. There was a point I was really really stressed and I talked to you about how upset I was about selling the house. You told me not to worry. You told me that someone will buy it and will make it their new home. And of course, you'd be right.
We spent one last glorious summer in that house walking to 7-11, Starbucks, and the park. We spent as much time as we could together before I went back to work. Before you went to full time school at kindergarten. It was a lot of lasts, and you went through each of them just as you normally would - flexible and calm.
It came at no surprise that kindergarten was an easy transition. You made new friends. You love your teacher, and you learned French as quickly as I had anticipated you to. You're loved by your class. One mom just came to me last week to tell me you're the mediator of your friends. That when someone is in trouble or in conflict, you are always in there solving the problem. One of your friends from school went home and told their mom that "Mackenzie is so responsible." There's no arguing about that. You really are.
It was as if a light switch went off when you started the big school. Suddenly you spoke with more certainty. You carried yourself with even more confidence than before. It was as if you were...growing up.
And of course, you knew this. You knew that you were getting older. It meant you'd carry more responsibilities. The toys that Bree and Al got to just throw around? You now have to pick them up. If your brother or sister was crying about the one last cookie in the cupboard? It meant you'd give it up for them because you're now the big big sister. They are so very lucky to have you.
Bree came to us shortly after school started that she wanted her ears pierced. Your dad and I always said we'd let you guys do that when you asked. I asked you if you wanted to do it at the same time. You said no. That you were too scared. We took Bree that day to her appointment and you changed your mind. You told us, "I'll be brave today and I will get my ears pierced." And so we did. You were scared but you did it anyway. And that is the definition of bravery - not the absence of fear, but the action in face of fear. You sure showed us that day.
You have continued to dream of being a rock star when you grew up. You have now decided that Bree can be a rock star with you. You certainly have a musical flair and you are quite artistic. You love to write and you're learning to read. Your favorite movie right now is Trolls and you love the TV show Justin Time. Your best friend is still Caiden and you have so many boyfriends now that I've lost count. You still want to marry Alastair.
The other day, I was laying in bed with you chatting. I told you I was worried because someone was mad at me and that they may never forgive me. You said, "it's ok mama, I will forgive you for them."
I hope you will always carry that kind of wisdom with you. To help others gain the perspective that we sometimes lack. To continue to be that problem solver that the world needs. To be the kind person that you are in your heart. Most of all, I hope you will always speak the truth and be yourself. Don't be afraid to remind us all that love really is the answer to everything.
Thank you for unconditionally loving and forgiving always. Here's to being six. Here's to another year of you teaching me more than I can ever imagine.
"I love you more than I have found a way to say to you...And I know that I am, I am, I am the luckiest." - Ben Folds Five
Comments
Post a Comment