Humbled by a Contest

About 18 months ago, Bryan and I went through some challenges in our relationship. We were at a point where we were deciding to stay together or separate amicably. It was both a chaotic and peaceful time for us. Chaotic about the unknown, but so much peace that no matter what happened at the end, we had nothing but love for each other.

In the midst of it all, I had read about 8 books in 2 months to keep me occupied in the chaos. Then I stumbled onto a book that changed me.  It was a book on my wish list for the past 10 years. Yes, 10 years. And I am not sure what prompted it, but I finally bought the book.

I won't go too much into Conversations with God. You can get it and read it if you'd like. It was exactly what I needed at that moment (isn't that always the way?). It gave me the peace I needed to let go of whatever ideas I had about our marriage. And from there, Bryan and I demolished what was, and built something new. A shift happened that I finally truly learned the meaning of unconditional love.

When I found out 2 weeks ago that Neale Donald Walsch was going to be in town for a workshop, I was excited to have the chance to go. I was disappointed that Bryan wouldn't be able to join me as he was going to Toronto for business. I bought my ticket anyway. We rarely go to personal growth workshops without each other. This time, I decided I would. After all, this man's book changed me. Changed us.

Then earlier this week, the organizers of the workshop put on a contest. The deal was to comment with our favorite quote from Neale. Whoever gets the most "likes" on their comment would win a dinner for 2 with Neale the night before the workshop.

I knew I would get some amazing insights at the dinner/workshop, but it turned out those insights came much much earlier. This contest brought me to tears at the end of it all, and I want to tell you why.

As soon as I read about the contest, I scrambled to find the quote that spoke to me the most. I finally came up with this:

"Your soul doesn't care about what you do for a living - and when your life is over, neither will you. Your soul cares only about what you're being while you're doing whatever you're doing." (CWG Book 1, page 170)

I posted it on my facebook, asked my friends to like my comments. Within about a couple of hours, I had 14 likes! I was in the lead! I had this. Sure, there were 3 more days until the contest closed, but really, I knew this dinner was mine.

Then a few hours later, 2 ladies started getting more likes. Next thing I knew, they had more likes than me.

Lesson #1 - Never assume a win until you win. Play to win, not play not to lose. 

I posted the link one more time on my facebook. This time, my family and friends started sharing it on their walls. Then I asked some close friends through instant messaging to like my comment. But it seemed like for every like I got, these 2 ladies (who turned out to be sisters!) got more likes too!

I was desperate. Now I really wanted this dinner. I went to one of my baby group and asked for help. It was not baby related what so ever, and I felt guilty asking for help from complete strangers.

Within the next hour, my likes EXPLODED. Somehow, these ladies rallied together and cheered me on. Me, someone who they have never met. They were thinking of ways to help me increase my likes. They kept bumping my post. Next thing I knew, I surpassed one of the sisters and only 20 likes away from the other.

Then I decided to personally message my friends on facebook. I sent out about 150 personal messages to each of them asking them to help me fulfill this bucket list item of mine. I was nervous - will they think I'm selfish and only contact them when I need something? Will they just say no?

Next thing I knew, half of the people I messaged wrote me back and said, "done! Good luck!" and some have even struck up a conversation to catch up.

Still, I was behind this one sister.

So I finally went to two of my other groups (another baby group and a celebrity gossip group of all places!) and asked for their help. I asked them to delete the post if needed because it had nothing to do with gossip or kids at all.

Within 30 minutes, my likes surpassed the sister who was in the lead. Overnight, I was about 100 likes more than her. These complete strangers also rallied me on. They wanted to see me succeed. They wished me luck and wanted me to keep them updated.

Lesson #2 - If you are sincere about your dreams, people will want to help you get there.

I thought for sure people would shame me for wanting something for nothing. Turned out, they wanted to see this item crossed off my bucket list. People are generous, and sometimes we forget that. With the media these days, it's easy to see the bad. But this contest reminded me that all people are good. All people want to unite and see good in the world.

Lesson #3 - It is a no when you don't ask.

I almost didn't ask for help. I almost didn't because I didn't want to be rejected. The answer is no 100% of the time when you don't ask. And the people who did reject me? They simply just ignored my request. It did not hurt like I imagined it would. Funny how we imagine pain, no?

Lesson #4 - One like makes all the difference.

Sometimes, people ask for donations and they say "every dollar makes a difference". They are right. Every vote, every dollar, every action you take has a ripple effect. YOU make all the difference without even knowing it.

This contest reminded me of the time Bryan paid for the car behind him at the Tim Hortons drive thru. When he got home, the car had followed him. The driver came out and asked Bryan, "Why did you do that? Why did you pay for us?" Bryan said, "because that's what we do. Just paying it forward. I hope you guys have a great day."
The driver paused and was nearly in tears. He said, "We just came back from a family vacation. We needed a break because my wife has been diagnosed with cancer. My father just passed. We were getting ready for my wife to go to cancer treatment and we were just driving our kids to school. When you paid for our breakfast, our kids asked me to follow you. You have no idea how much what you just did meant to us"
With that, he drove off.
Bryan spent $4 that day.

$4 you guys.

We have never hesitated to give again after that. Because you never know how far your one like, one donation, one act of kindness will go. You just never know.

Lesson #5 - Always do what inspires you.

I read through other people's favorite quotes and I actually liked one of the sister's quotes:

"If you want guarantees in life, then you don't want life. You want rehearsals for a script that's already been written. Life by its nature cannot have guarantees, or its whole purpose is thwarted." (CWG Book 1, page 141)

In my heart, I so wanted to like her comment. Then I thought, "what if I liked her quote and she wins the contest because I liked it?" So I waited.

2 days later, I liked it. Not because I knew I was going to win, but because I really liked that quote. And when you listen to that voice that leads you back to who you truly are, you can never go wrong. I had to live up to the quote I put on my comment - that my soul only cared about what I was being, not what I was doing. It was then that I knew if I won the contest, I would bring the runner up with me.

At the end of it all, 580 people came together to help me win this contest. Even if I had not won the contest, I would've had these 5 lessons that would've stayed with me forever. It humbled me at my desk. I cried tears of gratitude being reminded of what I've known all along - that human beings are amazing. I am thankful and blessed to have friends, family, and strangers come together to help me. And I hope you know that yes, you helped me cross an item on my bucket list, but you also helped 2 sisters (yes, they agreed I could bring both the sisters!) with their dreams. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Who knows how far your one like will ripple?

Love, Carly

PS - I will write another post about our dinner with Neale, stay tuned :)