Week 18 - Crying It Out...A Controversial Topic
I'm not sure if I wrote this before (my baby brain still intact), but Mackenzie WAS sleeping through the night beautifully for awhile. And then suddenly, no more.
At first, she was waking 1-2 times a night and she would be fine when we pop the soother back in. Then it increased to 3-4 times a night. Then this past week, she started waking us up 6-8 times a night just for the soother!
It was costing us our sanity. Bryan wakes up at 5:30 am every morning for a conference call, and I, well, I just don't function without sleep. In fact, I have no idea how I did it those first few week at all. Must be the mommy hormones. Well, those hormones have died, they're not keeping me going like they were before.
So the only solution?
Taking away the soother.
I read up about it, did some research on it. Apparently, this is a really common problems amongst parents! Loads of parents were fooled to have the best sleeping baby in the world, and suddenly, their world is torn apart by sleepless nights all because their baby wanted instant gratification.
There were loads of advice on what to do. Some say to poke holes in the soother, and then cut off the tip day by day until there isn't any left. Some say they put 10 soothers around the bed so their baby could grab one in the middle of the night themselves (that wouldn't work for us, Mackenzie isn't that coordinated yet...plus she's STILL swaddling...), some just tough it out (kudos to those women).
Then there's the group that does it cold turkey and let their baby cry it out. These babies range anywhere between 6 weeks (yikes!) to 2 years old (double yikes when they cry for a week!).
I'm an all or nothing kinda person. So I woke up on Wednesday and told Bryan...soother no more! We're doing this no matter what.
Bryan was NOT on board at first. He said his girls had soothers until they were about 2. But then again, they also didn't wake up 8 times a night for it. So he agreed to at least try it out.
Now I know this is a controversial topic. Some people feel that taking a soother out at 4 months is too early. Some people think that crying it out (CIO) is cruel. And maybe we're selfish for doing it, but honestly, I didn't want to be a zombie mom. I want to be a present mom. And I don't suppose waking 6-8 times a night was good for Mackenzie either. That can't be good sleep for a baby!
Wednesday was a horrendous day. There was whining, crying, wailing, all during naps. It took anywhere between 30-45 mins to put her down. Then came night time. 2 hours on and off crying. At one point she was wide awake smiling at us as if to say, "ha! Let's see how long you last! I bet I can outdo you!"
There were so many moments I wanted to give in and just stick a soother in. But the thought of more sleepless nights stopped me.
So how did she do on the first night?
She slept for 2 hours then woke up to be re-wrapped. Then woke up 3 hours later wailing on the top of her lungs. We had to pick her up to soothe her. Took 30 minutes, then she was down for another 4 hours.
That was more continous sleep we've had in a long time. We considered it a semi-success.
Second day? Nap times were better. Not a lot better, but better. We also decided no picking her up unless she was crying uncontrollably. So yeah, it was HARD.
Then came night time, again.
This time, it took an hour and 40 minutes of continous crying. This time, I was ready to call it. And so was Bryan. The only thing that stopped us was that we commited to doing it for at least 3 days, and we were already more than half way through.
We were feeling thoroughly guilty. So we called for some help.
We called our friend Dawn for some EFT. Don't know what EFT is? Check out Dawn's website. One thing I love about Dawn is that she's one of the most giving person I know. She's so good at what she does that she offers a money back guarantee if it doesn't work. EFT is basically acupuncture without the needles. We tap on different meridian points to help us with any physical and emotional stress.
We were emotionally stressed.
I'm not exaggerating, it took 5 minutes of talking and tapping with Dawn and Bryan and I were feeling 100 times better. We were renewed and refreshed for our mission. And oddly enough, Mack stopped crying!
So how did she do the second night?
6 hours of sleep to be re-wrapped, then another hour before she woke for her first feed. (She woke earlier than usual because I didn't do a dream feed that night) That means Bryan got 7 hours of continuous sleep.
Yeah, Bryan was on board again.
Third day. First nap - 15 minutes of crying. Then for the second and third nap, we were out and about, so she mostly napped in the car or in her stroller (with her wailing for a good 15-20 mins in the car without the soother). And then we came back to night time again.
How did she do?
FIVE minutes! Five minutes of crying and she was OUT. It was probably because she didn't nap properly during the day. Which was why she woke up an hour later...wailing again.
45 minutes later plus a feeding, she was down. We cut down that time by half from the night #2.
But how did she fair on the third night?
Well, not that great. She woke up 3 times, one of them she was screaming. So I took my cousin's advice and tried to feed her. I should've known better - Mackenzie has cut out her night time feed a long time ago. I shouldn't have second-guessed myself! No thank you mommy, no food for me! I'll scream louder incase you didn't hear me! Let me break your heart into a thousand pieces at 4 in the morning! So, instead, I set the timer, and let her cry it out. 5 minutes later, she was down.
Bed time at 7 pm, and she didn't wake up until 9 am this morning! This little girl was TIRED.
We're going to try this until at least Sunday. The key? To let her soothe herself instead of rushing to make sure she's ok. Lots of babies go without soothers and they're all fine. If I'm trying to teach Mackenzie delayed gratification, surely, we have to realize we have to work hard for our gratification too! (Meanwhile, my 20 strands of grey hair just doubled to 40)
Oh, and the bottle thing? We've decided our sleep was a bit more important. So we're working on one thing at a time. Soother first, bottle second.
Listen, CIO isn't for everyone. And believe me when I say that it's probably harder on the parents than it is on the baby. But I know in the long run, she will be a happier baby and we'll be better parents for it. I will keep you updated on the rest of the week. Will CIO work? Or will it be an epic fail? Stay tuned!
At first, she was waking 1-2 times a night and she would be fine when we pop the soother back in. Then it increased to 3-4 times a night. Then this past week, she started waking us up 6-8 times a night just for the soother!
It was costing us our sanity. Bryan wakes up at 5:30 am every morning for a conference call, and I, well, I just don't function without sleep. In fact, I have no idea how I did it those first few week at all. Must be the mommy hormones. Well, those hormones have died, they're not keeping me going like they were before.
So the only solution?
Taking away the soother.
I read up about it, did some research on it. Apparently, this is a really common problems amongst parents! Loads of parents were fooled to have the best sleeping baby in the world, and suddenly, their world is torn apart by sleepless nights all because their baby wanted instant gratification.
There were loads of advice on what to do. Some say to poke holes in the soother, and then cut off the tip day by day until there isn't any left. Some say they put 10 soothers around the bed so their baby could grab one in the middle of the night themselves (that wouldn't work for us, Mackenzie isn't that coordinated yet...plus she's STILL swaddling...), some just tough it out (kudos to those women).
Then there's the group that does it cold turkey and let their baby cry it out. These babies range anywhere between 6 weeks (yikes!) to 2 years old (double yikes when they cry for a week!).
I'm an all or nothing kinda person. So I woke up on Wednesday and told Bryan...soother no more! We're doing this no matter what.
Bryan was NOT on board at first. He said his girls had soothers until they were about 2. But then again, they also didn't wake up 8 times a night for it. So he agreed to at least try it out.
Now I know this is a controversial topic. Some people feel that taking a soother out at 4 months is too early. Some people think that crying it out (CIO) is cruel. And maybe we're selfish for doing it, but honestly, I didn't want to be a zombie mom. I want to be a present mom. And I don't suppose waking 6-8 times a night was good for Mackenzie either. That can't be good sleep for a baby!
Wednesday was a horrendous day. There was whining, crying, wailing, all during naps. It took anywhere between 30-45 mins to put her down. Then came night time. 2 hours on and off crying. At one point she was wide awake smiling at us as if to say, "ha! Let's see how long you last! I bet I can outdo you!"
There were so many moments I wanted to give in and just stick a soother in. But the thought of more sleepless nights stopped me.
So how did she do on the first night?
She slept for 2 hours then woke up to be re-wrapped. Then woke up 3 hours later wailing on the top of her lungs. We had to pick her up to soothe her. Took 30 minutes, then she was down for another 4 hours.
That was more continous sleep we've had in a long time. We considered it a semi-success.
Second day? Nap times were better. Not a lot better, but better. We also decided no picking her up unless she was crying uncontrollably. So yeah, it was HARD.
Then came night time, again.
This time, it took an hour and 40 minutes of continous crying. This time, I was ready to call it. And so was Bryan. The only thing that stopped us was that we commited to doing it for at least 3 days, and we were already more than half way through.
We were feeling thoroughly guilty. So we called for some help.
We called our friend Dawn for some EFT. Don't know what EFT is? Check out Dawn's website. One thing I love about Dawn is that she's one of the most giving person I know. She's so good at what she does that she offers a money back guarantee if it doesn't work. EFT is basically acupuncture without the needles. We tap on different meridian points to help us with any physical and emotional stress.
We were emotionally stressed.
I'm not exaggerating, it took 5 minutes of talking and tapping with Dawn and Bryan and I were feeling 100 times better. We were renewed and refreshed for our mission. And oddly enough, Mack stopped crying!
So how did she do the second night?
6 hours of sleep to be re-wrapped, then another hour before she woke for her first feed. (She woke earlier than usual because I didn't do a dream feed that night) That means Bryan got 7 hours of continuous sleep.
Yeah, Bryan was on board again.
Third day. First nap - 15 minutes of crying. Then for the second and third nap, we were out and about, so she mostly napped in the car or in her stroller (with her wailing for a good 15-20 mins in the car without the soother). And then we came back to night time again.
How did she do?
FIVE minutes! Five minutes of crying and she was OUT. It was probably because she didn't nap properly during the day. Which was why she woke up an hour later...wailing again.
45 minutes later plus a feeding, she was down. We cut down that time by half from the night #2.
But how did she fair on the third night?
Well, not that great. She woke up 3 times, one of them she was screaming. So I took my cousin's advice and tried to feed her. I should've known better - Mackenzie has cut out her night time feed a long time ago. I shouldn't have second-guessed myself! No thank you mommy, no food for me! I'll scream louder incase you didn't hear me! Let me break your heart into a thousand pieces at 4 in the morning! So, instead, I set the timer, and let her cry it out. 5 minutes later, she was down.
Bed time at 7 pm, and she didn't wake up until 9 am this morning! This little girl was TIRED.
We're going to try this until at least Sunday. The key? To let her soothe herself instead of rushing to make sure she's ok. Lots of babies go without soothers and they're all fine. If I'm trying to teach Mackenzie delayed gratification, surely, we have to realize we have to work hard for our gratification too! (Meanwhile, my 20 strands of grey hair just doubled to 40)
Oh, and the bottle thing? We've decided our sleep was a bit more important. So we're working on one thing at a time. Soother first, bottle second.
Listen, CIO isn't for everyone. And believe me when I say that it's probably harder on the parents than it is on the baby. But I know in the long run, she will be a happier baby and we'll be better parents for it. I will keep you updated on the rest of the week. Will CIO work? Or will it be an epic fail? Stay tuned!
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