Happy Birthday Mackenzie
Dear Mackenzie,
A year has come and gone. How could that be? I could've sworn it was just yesterday I was fussing about what to write for your one year birthday. Here I am again.
Some things haven't changed. You still light up when you see Po Po with as much enthusiasm as you did a year ago. You did things earlier than I expected you to, just like when you were a baby. You are still our teacher every day.
I read a blog post once that you'll remember the firsts, but most of the time, you won't remember the last. Like I don't remember the last time you signed please, the last time you needed me to spoon feed you because you weren't coordinated enough yet, the last time you ate your crayons, the last time you used a sippy cup...there were so many last times I didn't realize were lasts.
Every new word or new thing you did came as a surprise each time. When I started singing "I'm A Child of God", I was so surprised that you remembered the word since it had been a couple months since I sang it. When we started reading "Goodnight Moon", I was surprised that you knew the whole book by heart. When you saw Toy Story on TV, I was surprised you knew all the characters. When you played with your blocks, I was surprised that you knew how to stack them so you could build the tallest tower without it tumbling over. When you walked over to time out on your own, my jaw dropped.
I was surprised every time because I think I gave you less credit than you deserve. I hope I tell you I'm proud of you enough. I hope I let you know often that you're perfect just the way you are.
When you were first born, there were several things I desperately hoped you would inherit from your dad. I had hoped you would be still, calm, and never argue...I didn't get my wish.
You know what you did get from your dad though? Your heart. My gosh, you have a heart of gold just like him. And I thank God every day for that. Even though your initial reaction to your stuff is always, "MINE!", at the end, you always share with an open heart. I love how giving you are. You remind me every day just how simple giving is, how it's a choice, and how much joy it brings.
When your sister was born, a part of me worried about how you'd react. I don't know why I worried, because I didn't need to. You loved her from the moment you laid eyes on her. I know it's only been 4 months, but every day when you wake up, you always ask for Bree. Sure, you had your moments for about 2 months where you had doubled the time outs, whined excessively, and was a bit more demanding. But you never once took it out on her. When Bree cries, you gently pat her back or bring a toy to her. You hug and kiss her at least 10 times a day. You are a better sister than I ever was to your Yi Yi! Thank you for always making Bree laugh. I hope she'll learn to be as loving as you.
I've always said you were my flexible baby. You adjusted to every change like a champ. From me being away for a month (where your dad did the most FANTASTIC job ever on his own) to going to daycare to going to a big girl's bed to potty training - you did it without missing a beat. I hope you'll always be able to go with the flow and grow.
Thinking back the past year, a part of me twinge with a bit of regret that I didn't enjoy the last of your babyhood as much as I could. I was so tired from being pregnant and constantly looking forward to the new baby being born that I feel like I might've missed out on some of your milestones.
I think I've also treated you a bit older than you were. There were times I gave you time outs, only to realize afterwards that you were still only a year old.
And that's the thing about being a mom, you know? You really do just learn as you go. And I'm bound to make mistakes along the way. It's ironic, isn't it? I'm supposed to be leading the way and guiding you. But I think this journey really is more for you to teach me than it is for me to teach you.
Some days I think about your future, and I get a bit scared. The world now is just not the same as the world your dad and I grew up in. You hear the doom and gloom stories of the world, and I wonder what it'll be like for you.
And then you know what? I see how you pick yourself up when you fall (like when you fell off at the playground), or how you frown slightly every time another kid cries because you care so much, or how you kneel and pray each night with a big grin on your face saying "Amen!", or the way you hug everyone around you with absolute unconditional love - that's how I know you'll be just fine. I know, without a doubt, that you're already growing up to be more amazing than I could ever teach you to be.
Mackenzie, thank you for another great year. Thank you for being the awesome little person that you are. Happy second Birthday baby girl. I love you.
love always,
Mom
A year has come and gone. How could that be? I could've sworn it was just yesterday I was fussing about what to write for your one year birthday. Here I am again.
Some things haven't changed. You still light up when you see Po Po with as much enthusiasm as you did a year ago. You did things earlier than I expected you to, just like when you were a baby. You are still our teacher every day.
I read a blog post once that you'll remember the firsts, but most of the time, you won't remember the last. Like I don't remember the last time you signed please, the last time you needed me to spoon feed you because you weren't coordinated enough yet, the last time you ate your crayons, the last time you used a sippy cup...there were so many last times I didn't realize were lasts.
Every new word or new thing you did came as a surprise each time. When I started singing "I'm A Child of God", I was so surprised that you remembered the word since it had been a couple months since I sang it. When we started reading "Goodnight Moon", I was surprised that you knew the whole book by heart. When you saw Toy Story on TV, I was surprised you knew all the characters. When you played with your blocks, I was surprised that you knew how to stack them so you could build the tallest tower without it tumbling over. When you walked over to time out on your own, my jaw dropped.
I was surprised every time because I think I gave you less credit than you deserve. I hope I tell you I'm proud of you enough. I hope I let you know often that you're perfect just the way you are.
When you were first born, there were several things I desperately hoped you would inherit from your dad. I had hoped you would be still, calm, and never argue...I didn't get my wish.
You know what you did get from your dad though? Your heart. My gosh, you have a heart of gold just like him. And I thank God every day for that. Even though your initial reaction to your stuff is always, "MINE!", at the end, you always share with an open heart. I love how giving you are. You remind me every day just how simple giving is, how it's a choice, and how much joy it brings.
When your sister was born, a part of me worried about how you'd react. I don't know why I worried, because I didn't need to. You loved her from the moment you laid eyes on her. I know it's only been 4 months, but every day when you wake up, you always ask for Bree. Sure, you had your moments for about 2 months where you had doubled the time outs, whined excessively, and was a bit more demanding. But you never once took it out on her. When Bree cries, you gently pat her back or bring a toy to her. You hug and kiss her at least 10 times a day. You are a better sister than I ever was to your Yi Yi! Thank you for always making Bree laugh. I hope she'll learn to be as loving as you.
I've always said you were my flexible baby. You adjusted to every change like a champ. From me being away for a month (where your dad did the most FANTASTIC job ever on his own) to going to daycare to going to a big girl's bed to potty training - you did it without missing a beat. I hope you'll always be able to go with the flow and grow.
Thinking back the past year, a part of me twinge with a bit of regret that I didn't enjoy the last of your babyhood as much as I could. I was so tired from being pregnant and constantly looking forward to the new baby being born that I feel like I might've missed out on some of your milestones.
I think I've also treated you a bit older than you were. There were times I gave you time outs, only to realize afterwards that you were still only a year old.
And that's the thing about being a mom, you know? You really do just learn as you go. And I'm bound to make mistakes along the way. It's ironic, isn't it? I'm supposed to be leading the way and guiding you. But I think this journey really is more for you to teach me than it is for me to teach you.
Some days I think about your future, and I get a bit scared. The world now is just not the same as the world your dad and I grew up in. You hear the doom and gloom stories of the world, and I wonder what it'll be like for you.
And then you know what? I see how you pick yourself up when you fall (like when you fell off at the playground), or how you frown slightly every time another kid cries because you care so much, or how you kneel and pray each night with a big grin on your face saying "Amen!", or the way you hug everyone around you with absolute unconditional love - that's how I know you'll be just fine. I know, without a doubt, that you're already growing up to be more amazing than I could ever teach you to be.
Mackenzie, thank you for another great year. Thank you for being the awesome little person that you are. Happy second Birthday baby girl. I love you.
love always,
Mom
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