Waiting List for Midwife

Even though I am sure I was the first to submit that application after this midwife told me they had openings, I didn't make the cut. I'm on the waiting list.

Surprisingly, I'm not too upset about it. I'm feeling like maybe having a doctor is okay too. I might hire a doula though, but we shall see.

I feel really useless these days. If I'm not sleeping, I'm staring at the computer thinking about how tired I am. And although I'm really grateful for morning sickness (because it reminds me I'm actually pregnant), I'm quite tired of the unpredictability of what different foods will make me want to hurl everyday. Like today, the thought of having subway with my friends for lunch sounds fantastic. And I thought maybe I would order a foot long so I can have one for a snack - but thinking about that makes me want to puke. How random is that?

I am getting really excited about the baby. I'm thinking about shopping for maternity clothes, what we'll do with his/her room, our first doctor's appointment, etc. I probably don't get excited enough. I hope I'll feel better soon so I can be a little more active and a little more attentive to this baby and my body.

I'm applying for life insurance. I realized a month ago that I no longer have coverage and it really freaked me out. I told my husband that I cannot die between now until we have insurance in place. Of course, this is really for the future of the baby too. I want to make sure everyone is taken care of. So yesterday, I had to tell my life insurance guys that I was pregnant, just incase it makes a difference on the application form.

So now a total of 8 people know (gasp!) and none of them are people who are super close to us. I feel a bit of guilt, but I also have a huge thing planned on how to tell my family. 4 more weeks! I really really can't wait.

Also, a week and a half left until our doctor's appointment - I'm extremely excited about that.

Nothing too life altering today - you know, just having a baby, that's all.

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